Looking back...breaking point

I was reading a friend's blog today about her weight loss journey and it made me think "what was my breaking point?" When did I realize that I truly needed to change, and once I started thinking back, my wedding comes to mind. July 9th 2011 was nothing short of everything I expected it to be, I was surrounded by my amazing friends and married my best friend. The one thing I didn't expect was all of the questions and comments while walking around to all the tables. "How did IAN lose all that weight?" and "Wow! Look at IAN!! How much weight did he lose?" I kept smiling the whole time, but inside it really knocked me down, between the stress of my job, planning the wedding, and Ian going through academy I was not able to drop nearly as much weight as I wanted for the wedding, now Ian on the other hand had, due to mandatory workouts during academy. It hit me then and then looking at our Aruba pictures from our honeymoon, that I did not like how I looked and the, then two years, of working from home as online teacher had really added on the pounds. I now realize that I basically used every excuse in the book for my weight, and lack of motivation to do something about it.

I didn't start working out or even eating better right away, I would run here and there on our treadmill, but kept eating out multiple times a week and not caring how bad anything was. I began to notice a lot of people around me losing weight and I realized I wanted to be one of those people too, not to mention I am in two weddings this year. In addition, we planned a return trip to Aruba and I realized that I wanted to look awesome in my bathing suit and not have the "everyone is staring at me because I look fat and gross" feeling as I walk down the beach or stroll through the resort.

I finally got my butt in gear when I joined a weight loss challenge group. I found it through a friend from high school who had lost a ton of weight, as mentioned in a prior post. I began drinking shakeology for breakfast (and still do), eating clean (at least most of the time), and actually sticking to my workouts, who are we kidding I actually STARTED to work out. I have by no means been perfect, I still cheat and go out for Mexican and a margarita, but I'm okay with that. I also miss workouts, but instead of giving up like I used to in the past, I just jump back on the next day. It is an empowering feeling to gain a lot of my self confidence back! Not a lot of people besides family have noticed a difference so far, and I realized I'm okay with that. I know the changes are happening. My jeans that were tight in January are now too big. I fit into dress pants that I haven't worn for at least 3 years. I was able to buy a size 10 Rerock jeans at Express and they fit comfortably. And,I just ordered a new bathing suit and am actually looking forward to putting it on. I still have a long journey to go, I'm not sure how long, as I haven't decided my goal weight yet...but right now I'm working towards 155 by May 1st, once I accomplish that I will set my new goal.

Hearing everyone comment about Ian's weight loss was really hard and initially brought me down and frustrated me, but now it just fuels my fire to continue to lose weight and become the best possible version of myself that I can be. And, no it is not all about weight loss, but instead it is about looking and feeling my best....and a reason to buy new clothes (in smaller sizes) is just an added bonus!