Thankful

 

-Sunset over the beach in Aruba last July on our Honeymoon

Days can get hectic, work becomes a priority, dishes need done, laundry needs folded, and the list continues... Sometimes we forget to stop for a moment and realize all that we have around us. Instead of thinking to the past and trying to figure out what we could have done better, I have realized that we need to move forward and focus on what we can do to make our futures better. It is okay to think back on the past (I have done so recently), and also focus on how to make the future better, but the challenge is to take a few moments each and every day to really put yourself in the present. What are you thankful for right now?

I am thankful for all those in my life who pull me up, when I am down. Who answer the phone regardless what time of day, or night it is. Those friends and family who can put a smile on my face just by showing up. I am thankful for the amazing time I can have with my friends, even when we are sitting around and not doing a thing. I thankful for each and every one of them. I have realized again, and again, what amazing, wonderful, loving, caring friends I have. I am truly blessed to have them in my life.

I am thankful for the children in my life, not my children (as I do have any), but my niece and one of my best friend's daughters- they are are two amazing little girls. One is only nine months old, and the other will be four this coming August. It is impossible to have a bad day when either one of them are around. I thankful to have the opportunity to watch them both laugh, smile, and grow. I also love to spoil them both. I have found it impossible to pass up the baby section while in Target, and find myself constantly telling stories about my four year old niece. I am also thankful for my goddaughter who will turn eleven this year. She is full of positive energy and again you cannot help but smile as soon as she walks into a room. Her and I have special roles in the family, as she is the youngest grandchild and I am the oldest.

I am thankful to wake up each morning to the sound of a barking dog (who is convinced that he owns the street outside of our window), and I thankful to have some place to live and amazing person to live with. I am thankful that almost all of my family is within 20 minutes, and that I can walk down the street to my mother's house at any given moment. I thankful that the sun shines each day, and that I am lucky enough to be alive and able to see it.

I thankful for my past because without I would not be here today, I would not know the people I know, or have the amazing memories that I do. I am thankful for the present and the memories that are being made each and every day. I know that the future holds great things for myself and for all those around me.

I challenge everyone to take a moment or two today and think about what you are thankful for; even though things may not always go as planned - I bet your list of reasons to get out of bed each and every morning vastly outweighs anything negative that has come or may come your way.

Memorial Day

"And I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me,  And I gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A."

- Lee Greenwood, Proud to be an American

As the Friday workday is coming to a close, many of us are preparing for a three day weekend. Cookouts are planned (or being planned for last minute planners, like myself!), hamburgers and hot dogs are bought, the coolers are packed with ice and beer, and everyone is getting ready to really kick off the summer. I know I am looking forward to 90 degree weather, sunshine, and some MUCH needed time off work;  However, I want to make sure everyone stops for a moment and really thinks about what Memorial Day stands for.

Memorial Day isn't about the picnics, or having a Monday off work (although that is a bonus). It is about remembering those who have served and lost their lives defending our country. I also believe it is a day to give thanks to those who continue to serve in our armed forces as well. It is because of those who have risked their lives, left their families that we have a country with more freedoms than one can count, or exercise the right to use in a lifetime. It is only right and honorable to take a moment to remember those fine men and woman who have lost their lives fighting for our freedom. It is a time to support those families who have lost their loved ones, or are anxiously awaiting the homecoming of their active duty family members and friends.

I ask that between the drinking, eating, and great fun, that you make sure to take a moment of silence to reflect on the lives lost, and an additional moment to thank those who are still with us, who have served or are serving. They have all done a great service to this country, and without them who knows where this great country would be.

A special thank you to those close to me who have served in the past, and those who continue to serve in the present. Thank you does not seem nearly enough for what you have done.

To all those not at home: Come home safe, we are waiting for you.

Replacement

Ted: Oh, my God, Van Helsing is on. Remember when we went to see it? We sat in the back row.
Robin: I've never seen Van Helsing.
Ted: That's right. I saw it with... my sister.

-How I Met your Mother -Season 2

After yesterday's post about memories and after watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother last night I got to thinking about memories and how often we alter them....

Ever make that mistake talking to your significant other, only to realize half way through that it actually wasn't them? My lovely husband has an awful habit of doing this to me and then I have to prove to him that there is no way that I could have actually been in the story he is telling. I used to get jealous, like he was thinking of someone else or wanting them to be there, but I realize that he isn't. (I also realize that I do the same thing all the time as well!) We tend to replace people in the past with people in our present because we want to be with who we are currently involved with; we want to think that all our wonderful memories of traveling, seeing movies, or just generally being happy are linked to why we are happy today.

It isn't that we want to forget the past, or that we are trying to replace anyone- it is simply human nature to think in the present and to link our present to our past. We alter memories to fit our current situation. It isn't something that we do on purpose, and it isn't something that we should be ashamed about it. Unlike Ted from How I Met Your Mother  - we shouldn't have to make up some bogus line about it being our sister, brother, mother, or any other family member. We should instead go with "whoops?! That wasn't you!? I wish that it was! Maybe we should go/watch __________ (insert travel plans or lame 90s movie here).

Understand that our memory lies to us on a regular basis, and it happens to everyone, so don't worry about it. If you are on the listening end of the memory (and know 100% that the story is not about it) sometimes it is better just to pretend that it was in fact you. Sometimes when you start agreeing the person will realize it was in fact NOT you - and then you can both have a good laugh about the whole situation.

So, with that being said, instead of focusing on the past and who was where, and who did what, go out and make a new memory today. And, if you are really that bad with your memory - take a picture, then there will be no doubt who it was with.

Enjoy your day everyone, go make the most of it!

Memories and Mistakes

"Funny how a melody sounds like a memory, like a soundtrack to a July Saturday night. Springsteen."

 -Eric Church

I have realized as the years go on, we tend to change past memories to what we wished that they were. The bad times don't seem so bad, the good times seem even better. We forget those people who didn't make an impact on us, we downplay feelings, we view ourselves as more positive than we were. But, be honest with yourself just for a moment here. Were you are nice as you thought you were? Did you actually make mistakes, but now think that they were no big deal? I know I did. As humans we do not like viewing our flaws, so we don't. We act as if we didn't impact others on a negative level. As much as I wish I could look back and say I left a positive lasting impression on everyone I met, I know that just isn't the case. I made dumb mistakes, hurt feelings, and never said sorry.

I know today I am in a better place than I was five years (or even one year ago). I know I am nicer, I respect the feelings of others more; but I was not always that way. I was in my early 20s and thought I could do whatever I wanted, say whatever I wanted, and that everyone would still be standing there at the end. I took advantage of the kindness of others, not on purpose, I just didn't realize I was doing it. I thought I could cause a path of destruction, and still put it back together just as I wanted at the end. This is not the case. I know many who stuck it out and are still beside me today. I know I lost others along the way. I know that in life everything happens for a reason, even if the reason does not come out until years later.

For those of you in your early 20s remember you are defining your life, and who are you are. Remember to be kind, respect others, and know that you are impacting someone every day. I know some days you have no idea what you want in any aspect of your life. That is normal, you can be confused, but do not let that confusion turn to hurt for those around you. 

For those of you in your mid/late 20s - think back to your early 20s, you are not the same person you were there. You now are much more wise. You understand the feelings of others. You realize that actions have consequences and that no matter how strong, a drink is it will not solve any problems. Instead of hiding problems, feelings, or creating addition problems; just say sorry and focus on making yourself the best person that you can. No matter how hard you try, you cannot change those around you, you cannot change the past, you can only change yourself and create a better future.

For all the mistakes that have been made, for all the immature and rash decisions that I never admitted to, and for being an idiot when I knew better. I am sorry. For all the feelings I have hurt, and people I have taken for granted, you deserve an honest and true apology. I am sorry. For where it has gotten me to today, I am thankful.

When I was your age...

I was going through old documents on my computer the other day and stumbled on some writing a did about two years ago. I was attempting to put together some ideas for a book (it never got past page 5) with some rants about society. I don't know if it is actually funny at all, but I figured I would share. Below is just a small part of what I found - hope you enjoy!

(note I did not make any changes to what I found - so excuse any poor grammar/sentence structure that you may find.)

".....Here's an example for you, and a true story example (might I add): A girl gets in trouble in her biology class for cheating on a test. How did she cheat you might ask?...notes snuck under the table, maybe written on the desk, or maybe she was looking at notes on her hand- that has got to be it! (students love writing all over thier hands, arms, and even legs)-but sadly you are all wrong on all of those guesses. She was in fact using her cell phone. Oh, okay, so she had answers written in her phone's note pad- smart girl. Wrong again. Her mother was texting her answers, HER MOTHER?! Realy?! Come on mom get a grip, it is just a 10th grade Science test, and I am sure you don't know the answers either, unless you are sitting at home with an extra copy of the textbook because Sally Lou doesn't want to have a heavy backpack and gets extra copies of all her books. Okay totally beside the point, there are so many things wrong with this story-for one my mom would never have bothered to even text me back in a situation such as this. Come to think of it I don't think our first cell phone even had texting. And, that's right I said our phone-meaning my mother, father and myself all shared one cell phone (gasp!) I know so unheard of now -since 2nd graders are getting own phones now in days- again please get a grip people. Your child is in school for about 6ish hours a day, they do not need a phone! There are pay phones and school office phones for student use if they miss the bus or you forget to pick them up. Honestly all this cell phone business is just nuts. There are days I want to take my phone turn it off and throw it in a dark hole. However-then e-mails, texts, calls and of course facebook would not be within my reach. What a damn shame. Alright so what was my point? Ah yes- do not text your child during class and help them cheat on a test! It is just high school, it will be okay if you don't get a perfect, you will still go to college, and be sucessful- I promise! The moral of this -when I was your age mom didn't let me take a cell phone to school, and mom didn't do my homework/take tests/help me cheat...although dad might have helped me once...okay total joke, you get my point though, or maybe you don't - the point is if your kid doesn't put in the work let them fail, learn, and then pick themselves back up. They will survive I promise."

10 months and counting

"What do you like better Christmas or Wedding Season?" -Wedding Crashers

It's hard to believe that Ian and I have been married for over 10 months now. This time last year, I was running all around with last minute planning, dress fittings, meetings, place cards, and the list goes on. It seems like a different life, yet it seems like yesterday as well. I was just looking through our wedding pictures and if I could attend ours again I would in a heartbeat (notice I said attend not plan). Attending a wedding whether it be yours or one that you are attending is always a fun time- who doesn't love dressing up and dancing the night away!? However, the planning is another story- thinking back there was always something that needed done, someone that needed called, or some decision to be made. Don't get me wrong some aspects of the planning were fun - picking bridesmaid dressing, picking out a dress, flowers, cake tasting! But- the final two months were the most stressful, just hoping and praying that everything will fit together perfectly. For those of you in the final planning stages for your wedding, whether you have a few months left, or a few days left I promise it will all be worth it. Take a day off from the planning and remember the true meaning of the big day. When it comes down to it, it isn't about the flowers, dinner selections, invitations, or even the dress, it is about you and your furture husband (or wife); it is about making memories with family and friends that will last the rest of your life. It is a celebration!

July 9, 2011- a picture taken on our wedding day down on the North Shore- Pittsburgh, PA (Photographer- Craig Photography)

With all of that being said - the number one question that I still get asked is: "How's married life?" - well it is the same as life before marriage. I just have wedding pictures, memories, and a beautiful ring to show for it. It is humorous because you would not ask a couple that has been married for 30 years, "how's married life?" - but for some reason everyone finds it perfectly acceptable to ask younger couples. I wish I had some big insightful answer- but I do not. Married life includes everything that pre-married life did. The same people, the same house, the same animals (two cats who get into everything and a black lab who barks at everything), and the same daily duties (work, cooking, cleaning, you know the usual). If someone has found a good answer to this question, please share!- because I would love to have a fantastic answer to this; or I may start asking the question right back at the person asking (given they are married) - and see how difficult it is for them to find an answer, or see if they know something I don't about "how married life is!"

It is amazing to think that we are coming up on our one year anniversary though. I will be honest we have already eaten the top of our wedding cake (we just couldn't wait, and honestly wanted the space back in the freezer!) -  We also won't actually be home for our one year- we are treating ourselves to a second Aruba trip- the same place we went on our honeymoon, almost one year ago! I am looking forward to just spending time with Ian on the beach and relaxing (something neither of us do very well, or rather do not usually have the time to do).  

I just have to say that I love being married and could not have picked a better person to share to my life with - to Ian - I love you - and I am proud of the wedding we planned and the fun that was had by all. I wouldn't change a thing, except maybe change the weather to about 10 degrees cooler- but a little sun and sweat never hurt anyone! =)  Happy 10 months - a few days late.

What are you drinking?

"The healthiest meal of the day"

I decided to go with a fitness/health related post today - since I have not done so in a while, and I have had a lot of people question me lately about these "shakes" that I drink. The most common question recently is:  "What is that shake thing you keep posting on facebook about?"

Well today is your lucky day because I am going to give you more information about this "shake thing" that I have been drinking. First, it is called Shakeology and has been one of the best health decisions I have ever made. To me shakeology is an amazing breakfast (or lunch, or sometimes dinner), it is healthy and tastes great. Shakelogy comes in three flavors -greenberry, tropical strawberry and my favorite chocolate. I love mixing almond milk and peanut butter into my shakes, and sometimes I even mix in some coffee. I forget that it is healthy for me, for the simple fact that it tastes like a chocolate peanut butter milkshake!

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a tendency to drink way too much coffee, but shakelogy has helped me changed that - there are days that I actually go without coffee now, or limit my intake to a cup or two, as compared to the whole pot I was drinking a few months back. For example, I had about half a cup of coffee mixed in with my shake this morning, and have not had any other source of caffeine today, but I still feel energized, alert, and focused. Shakeology has helped me lose weight (almost 20 pounds since January), stay on track with my eating habits, gain energy, and gives me no excuse not to eat breakfast - because it is quick and I can drink it as I start my day. (I had a bad habit of skipping breakfast, or thinking that four or five cups of coffee was an acceptable breakfast).

I can't explain everything there is to explain about shakeology - but I did find this great video that will help you determined if shakeology is right for you and your goals. Check out the video - and as always, let me know if you have any questions!

http://beachbodycoach.com/esuite/home/NicoleTanner?bctid=73854917001

Kind Words- to a teacher

"A good teacher is who teaches the students HOW to think, not WHAT to think."

Above is one of my all time favorite teaching/education quotes that I truly believe in. I absolutely love teaching and believe that is my true calling in life. My current position, that I will be ending this coming June, is an online position- which is very VERY different from an in-classroom position has been an extremely educational and rewarding experience. Sometimes when I do not feel as though I am making an impact or a difference- my students remind me that I am. I received the following e-mail today from a student:

"Mrs. Tanner, Thank you so much :) ; Your encouraging words definitely helped this school year :) I enjoyed you as a teacher and keep teaching because you are doing great. Hope you have a wonderful summer"

It truly is the best feeling when you realize what you were meant to do and that you are making a difference on a consistent basis. It doesn't matter what others think, what matters is what the students think, remember, and what impact you make on them. To all my fellow teachers- remember what drove you to this profession - it wasn't the money, or the status in society - it was the students and making a positive impact on the next generation that will run this country. Focus on what your students think of you, not what everyone else thinks of you.